I AM my hair

India Arie once wrote a song that was called "I am not my hair".  I get what India was saying(she is not her hair, she's more than her hair, don't judge her based on her hair yada yada yada)  but I feel differently ... I AM my hair! My hair IS me! We are connected. When one looks good, the other feels good and vice versa. My hair is a part of my identity. It has been with me for my entire life and that is what made the last couple of months so difficult.

Between having a baby, having extreme hormonal issues, filing for a divorce, being fired, looking for a job, being harassed, and just being stressed to the max period ... my hair has changed. When it first started falling out, I went to my beautician and had it cut thinking that would help. It did not. My hair continued to thin out and fall out to the point that I developed two small bald spots in the back of my head and my edges were gone. My hairline was reminiscent of Lebron James' hairline and it did wonders for my self esteem. Did you catch that sarcasm? Some nights I was all like

So once I finally got my hair together, I decided that I wanted it all off. I have eliminated much of the stress that was in my life and now it was time to fix the one thing that was holding me back. My HAIR! I didn't want it to be a distraction and it was the only thing holding me back from being the woman that I normally am. So I headed to see V. When I sat in the chair, my beautician asked me what I wanted. I showed her a picture of my hair cut short and we proceeded. First and foremost, the BEST thing ever is having your hair washed. I am addicted to that feeling. I would marry two people without thinking: a man who washes hair for a living and a man who does pedicures for a living. Both give me life but I have digressed!

The first time she cut my hair I knew it was not right. My head felt heavy and I could still feel the hair on my neck. So when she turned me around I immediately said "Nope not enough, shorter".  So she went back to cutting. As I felt the scissors snipping my hair away and as I watched the hair fall all over me, I blinked back tears. It's crazy but I felt so much better. When I felt the clippers buzzing through my head I just wanted to shout. Finally she was done. It still was not as short as I would like but I didn't have any hair on my neck and the style was cute.  More than anything once I stepped out of the chair, I noticed the extra bounce in my walk. I noticed the way I stood and the huge smile on my face. Everything that I have done since "the cut" has been done with energy and spunk. I just feel so much better and that lets me know that "the cut" was the right decision for me.  I'm going even shorter in 3 weeks. I can't wait.



My new cut!  :)

1Luv
KL