The E in Exhausted

I havent blogged in like forever. I havent exercised in like forever. The past 5 days have been filled with tears, prayers, stress and worry. I'm trying to make a change professionally and keep tripping over stumbling blocks. The good thing is although I'm tripping I'm not staying down .... I continue to get up and run the race.

I'm the type of person who is always looking for a lesson. I'm always looking for a bright side or a "this happened because". I'm convinced that things just dont happen .... there is a reason behind it and a learning opportunity as well. Even when bad things happen I always find myself asking myself "What am I suppose to learn from this?" "How is this going to make me a better person?" "Why did this happen?"

I received a phone call on Friday that threw my entire summer for a loop. The entire summer I've been happy and actually looking forward to returning to work. All of that ended with one simple phone call. I dont think I've stopped crying every since. Thankfully I know where my help and strength come from and I found myself falling on my knees.  It was funny because I had just left my knees on Wednesday about another situation and when I woke up Friday that situation had been resolved only for another one to pop up. I had just finished telling everyone how great God was only to find myself in another position of asking him to rescue me.

The one thing that I have learned within my 29 years is that God does not always come when WE want him to BUT he is always right on time. I've had countless experiences where this has been proven. I remember leaving Georgia on a prayer and faith the size of a mustard seed .... thats all I had .... I was penniless, homeless and jobless and within a few weeks God had blessed me with a job, a place and money. You cant have a testimony without a test. Thats the lesson that I am getting out of what I am going through right now.  I believe 100% that God is going to come through for me and while this is a test unlike any other tests that I've ever had ... I know that my testimony is also going to be greater.

As of today I've done all that  I could do. The rest is left up to him. I am exhausted! Stress + Worrying + Bad Nerves + Crying + Lack of Sleep will do that to you :/ Now that my part is over I just want to sleep and allow GOD to work! I know he is working it out for me :)

1Luv
KL

Just call me JOBetta

If I sound a little confused as you read this its probably because as I type it I am laughing and crying .... at the same time. I'm laughing at the title. I spoke with my mother a few minutes ago and informed her that I should've been named JOBetta ....a reference to the character of Job within the bible. Maybe that's being a bit extreme but that's how I feel and I'm crying because well it seems that everything in my life is going wrong. And when I say everything I truly mean everything. Romantically, financially, spiritually, physically, mentally, professionally. I feel like Job. If you've been under a rock Job lost everything .... his kids, his livelihood, his health .... EVERYTHING.

When I think about Job I kind of want to kick myself. Despite everything that's occurring I still have my health, I still have a job, I still have a roof over my head, I still have my child. I dont think anyone has had it worst than Job. The thing that I admire the most about Job was his faith. Despite all that happened Job still believed and trusted in God and because of his faith he was rewarded and blessed. As each incident has taken place within the past few weeks my faith has remained in tact. I've been here before .... hell I've been in worst shape. I've been homeless,  jobless and penniless at the same time and God came through for me. I'm trusting that he will come through again and that everything that is happening is happening for a reason. I'm holding on to the hope that things will get better.

A few Sundays ago we had a guest speaker and the one thing that was said by her that stuck out the most was her quote about faith. She said that when times are good people have all of the faith in the world but when faith is needed, it suddenly disappears. This mean that when everything is going our way we trust in God and believe in him. However when something bad happens the first thing that we do is question why and our faith in God suddenly disappears.....we start seeking answers in Obama, the governor, our parents, and etc.

My faith has been tested plenty of times and I wish I could say that I passed every test but I cant. I get mad sometimes. It sucks to see bad things happening to good people. But no matter what has happened my belief in God has stayed the same. I have no other choice but to believe. I've seen what he has done not only in my life but in other people's life as well. I know that all things are possible through him. I'm just hoping and praying for a breakthrough.

1Luv
KL

I SURVIVED New Orleans

Well today is my last day in New Orleans. *sighs* What a "vacation" this has been. I've been tested physically, spiritually and mentally this entire weekend and I'm so proud of me because I SURVIVED!

When I left for New Orleans I knew that I would be tested physically. I even blogged about it. I love cajun food and alcohol and thought that I would be consuming thousands of calories because of it. However I surprised myself. The only thing that I have eaten has been red beans and rice and sausage. I ate a bowl of it this morning and have not had the desire to eat anything since. I've had cups and cups of water ..... and limited alcohol. I've walked everywhere so my exercise has been taken care of. I give myself a pat on the back.

Spiritually and mentally I did not expect to be tested. I really did not. I really thought I'd come to New Orleans, party, and have a great time. That is not what happened. It was drama from the beginning. There was so much drama that I wanted to say eff the 100s of dollars that I spent and just take me home.

I'm the type of person who loves to travel. I travel a lot. I love going to stuff, partying and just having fun. Whenever I go on vacation I enjoy experiencing the city and just having a good time. I personally have a hard time understanding anyone who would come all of the way to New Orleans and want to stay in the hotel and watch television and sleep. Television and sleeping can be done anywhere. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around that concept. I wont go into deal but the drama that I experienced this weekend was uncalled for and very unnecessary. However it was needed in order to grow mentally and spiritually.

A year ago I would not have thought like that. However now I see that sometimes we are forced to experience a little pain, a little drama, shed a few tears in order for us to be elevated. When everything was going on I turned to God and just prayed. It was the craziest prayer and if I were him I would've chuckled at me. I kept saying the same thing over and over but the funny thing is that it worked. It calmed me down. Once I took it to him and left it there, I had a much better day.

So I survived New Orleans. I leave in the morning and I can not wait to come back next year. Til then, its been real Nawlins :)

Insanity Day 5 ABD Day 4

The video says it all! I am doing so well! I completed my last day of the anti-bloat diet and you can definitely see a difference! Woop Woop! I can not wait to see what I am going to look like in 55 days :0) I just had a fantastic dinner! I cheated a liiiitttttlllleee bit! I started my flat belly diet tonight instead of tomorrow. :0) And had a fantastic chicken sandwich with 4 pieces of cheese and water. I am so satisfied! I cant wait until tomorrow! PeanutButter&Banana sandwich! Yummm! :0) Anyhoo time for bed. Tomorrow me and my mother are going to the Christian store! Sista's gonna get her bible! :0) Have a good night and once again thanks for all of your support!

Bible

Well as you all know.................this journey that I am on is more than just physical. I am seeking a change physically, mentally and spiritually. So I am online searching for a bible.....1 that I would like to read because I can understand it, study it, and benefit from it. I currently have a King James Version bible....dont we all lol.....but at times I find myself having to read a passage over and over again to simply understand what its talking about. Anyhoo I'm looking online for a bible and they have different categories like large print, children...typical things ya know....but why do they have African American? *side eye* African Americans have their own bible and in it(according to the little summary) it highlights contributions that africans have made to christianity. *Holds up sign*



C'mon son! Is all of that really necessary? I mean really.....what's going to happen next? A hispanic bible? An Asian bible? Is ALL of that realllllyyyy necessary????????

Anyhoo I have lost track of why I wrote this post........I'm looking for a bible lol Does anyone have any recommendations?

1Love
KL