So this morning I woke up and went to the doctor. Boy I was ready. First and foremost, I knew nothing about this doctor. Because I was so afraid of doctors, I didnt have one. Well in order to complete the wellness requirements I HAD to have a doctor. So I picked one off of my insurance site. The first one was totally booked until August. The second one could see me today so I went with the second one. I knew nothing about her .... just her name.
I walked in the doctor's office all cheery and happy.... I was ready. I paused for a good 3 seconds when I got in there. Not only was she a primary care doctor, she was also some big time weight loss guru. O_O. Was this fate? I sat in the waiting room like "OMG". I start panicking a little bit because I know I'm PMS'ing and I know my numbers are going to be a little off....... I also know shes going to comment about me being obese. *bites nails*
I go back in the office and everything is cool. Everyone is nice, I'm talking, I'm calm .... and then the doctor comes in. She is very nice I will give her that .... but she is also very blunt. Before anything she took one glance and said YOU HAVE TO LOSE WEIGHT. Anyone who knows me knows what happened next .... I instantly went into "defense" mode. I KNOW I need to lose weight .... what do you think I've been doing for the past month? huh? huh? Losing weight! You think I'm bad now you should've seen me a month ago...I've lost 10 lbs lady! *pats self on the back*
I'm going to pause here to say that I dont care how bad you are, someone is always BADDER(is that a word? if not you know what I mean). I met my match today because the doctor was not trying to here ANY of that. She didnt care that I had lost 10 lbs. I was still obese(according to my BMI) and thats ALL she cared about. Needless to say I sat down and was quiet ....... and well, I just allowed the doctor to do her thing.
My first test was my weight. I was worried about my weight because like I said ... PMS messes with my numbers. I weighed in at 185 which was good for ME. I've had a funky period and have not exercised since my trip to Orlando. The fact that I've maintained my weight was a plus for me.... notice I keep saying for me .... the 185 was not good for the doctor lol Also I want to note if I'm 185 while pms'ing, I'm probably more like 180 without it. I'm just saying. ... I'm just saying.
My second test was my blood pressure. The nurse initially took my blood pressure on my left arm. Then she let out a big WHOA and said this cant be right....child stop worrying and sit still. I didnt know I was moving but oh well. I took a deep breath and she did it on my right arm. My blood pressure ended up being 118/80 which she said was pretty good.
The next test was my sugar. Once again the first time she pricked me, she pricked me on my right hand. she let a big WHOA and said child what did you have for breakfast. Ummm a protein shake. Does it have sugar in it? Yes. She keeps mumbling "this cant be right" and shows me the machine. It says 200. Seriously I'm sitting there with the dumb face. What does that mean? Her reply: You have diabetes.
I'm so serious when I tell you this. After she said that I literally yelled "Oh noooooooooo NOT THE SUGAR!!!!" I really wish I was being videotaped because now as I sit and write this post I see just how funny that ish was. Tears came to my eyes and I just kept repeating "nooooo not the sugar, not the sugar" So the nurse(who was also African American) said let me go and get the other machine...give me your finger. So I went through the entire process all over again .... this time with a new machine and with a different hand. The end results .... 116. High ..... but not like 200. Pre-diabetic ..... NOT diabetic! **insert praise dance** (see the video below)
The last part of the exam was the diet phase. I had several options. I could do a type of liposuction. Hmm sounds good but my bank account says no. I could do injections. Hmmm sounds good but my bank account says no. Or I could do diet, exercise(arent I already doing that????) and pills. Hmmm sounds good and my bank account says yes.
So I'm on 3 pills. I've researched all 3 for the side effects .... I'm no dummy. The first is gastrofill which shrinks your stomach and prevents you from eating a lot .... taken before lunch and dinner. The second is a thyroid pill which basically boosts your metabolism. And the third is diucap. The pills I can do .... the suggested diet is what is going to be difficult. Absolutely NO breads, cereals, potatoes, pasta, blah blah blah .... no bananas, no mangoes, no sugar at all. Just protein protein protein. Blah blah blah.
I went to my car and was really thinking "I'm not going to do this. I'm not giving up ALL carbs" but my mind kept going back to 200 and how I felt when I thought I had diabetes. I never want to feel that way again. If it takes not eating bread or rice or pasta to get to that point then that is just what I'll have to do. My appointment for my cholesterol is tomorrow. I'm ready for it. I have a weigh in next week already.....can you believe it? Dr Merey EXPECTS(her words not mine) to be at 180 by next Thursday. According ot her if I follow the plan I will be there. I'm not even going to point out the fact that if I do my hip hop abs and myfitnesspal and my plan that I can be at 180 by next week too WITH rice included. She is a pistol and its not worth going back and forth. Either way the goal for next week is 180. Lets get get get it!
Videoclip of my favorite obese comedian Lavell Crawford. I cannot think about "the sugar" without thinking about him. WARNING: There is cursing!
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