First Day Back To Work

Today was my first day back at work. It's been 7 weeks since I delivered my child and a good two months since I left for leave and I had no idea what to expect. My love affair with this thing called education has been an emotional rollercoaster. God knows I love what I do but I'm not "in" love with it anymore and I want that feeling back. I prayed really hard to God and found myself quite excited as I left the house.  My first day back was interesting to say the least. The most interesting thing that happened is people kept passing by me as if they didn't know who I was. Say what now?  I watched as they squinted their eyes, did a double take and then gasped! Do I look THAT different? Yes I know the last time they saw me I looked like this

 

 

lol  And today when I came back after two months I look like this
 

 

 

 

 And yes I took that in the bathroom. I wanted to see what everybody else was seeing. I promise when I look down at my belly it looks bigger. While its not the size that I want it to be, it definitely has gone down a lot! I appreciated all of the compliments.  I cant lie it was a confidence booster. All I've heard all day is "You look so good! You look great to just have had a baby! Your belly is going down" ..... major blushes! Thanks yall.  My ultimate goal is

With the gym, running and dates with Shaun T, I think I can achieve it! Lets go!

1 Luv
KL

Back to church I go

I missed my church! I missed my church like a dieting woman/man misses cake. I missed my church like a celibate woman misses sex. I missed my church like a broke man misses a paycheck. I MISSED MY CHURCH!

I love my church. I am very particular when it comes to what type of church I will attend and even more particular when it comes to joining one. A lot of black churches sprew hatred, sexism and racism and I cant get down with that program. Especially when God said to love your neighbor. Hate the sin, love the sinner is always my theory and when I can find a church that has the same ideology, I've found the place for me.

I've been gone away from my church since the end of November. Today was my first day back and the holy spirit hit me as soon as I hit the door....that and the older African American women who dashed to view my baby lol I felt so good to be home again. I enjoyed everything from the pastor's sermon to the choir.  Even my kids enjoyed the service. I cant wait to return.

1Luv
KL

Song of the Year

Last year I really got into meditating. Before and after I would meditate I would listen to Kurt Carr's God is a Healer. The song was PERFECT for meditation and prayer. I couldn't and still cant listen to it without throwing my hands up, getting my praise on, and allowing tears to flow. The song speaks about believing that no matter what is wrong in your life, that God will heal it and make it better. I needed that last year because it seemed that so much was going wrong...I needed  a healing. That song brought me through some difficult times. Seriously there were times when I just wanted to throw in the towel and give up on everything and it was during those times that I'd sit in the corner and listen to God Is A Healer, cry and feel so much better. It was as God himself spoke to me each and every time through that song.

Now it's a new year and while I love God Is A Healer, I wanted a NEW song for meditation. While the message within GIAH is a great one, it also can be very depressing because it makes you focus on what's wrong in your life instead of what's right. Yes it encourages you to have faith and God and know that he will provide but I wanted something different. I wanted to claim 2013 as one of the BEST years of my life. I wanted to believe that God was going to do AWESOME things with me this year. I DO believe this! So new year .... new song? Right!  I'm riding in my truck and I keep playing Mary Mary's latest hit over and over again and then it hit me.

This should be my new song of the year for meditation. The crazy thing is that when Mary Mary first released this song I did not like it. I didn't agree with the lyrics .... but the more I played it the more I felt it. It's all about claiming YOUR BLESSING! Isn't that what I was doing? Wasn't I claiming that 2013 was going to be one of the BEST years of my life despite what was going on around me? Sure I was so this was the perfect meditation song for me.

1Luv
KL

36 inches!!!!

I'm not much of a scale girl. But I live by my tape measure. I don't recall where I got it from. Either Shaun Tee or Ian Smith......nope now I remember. It was Dr Oz. I was on the You on a Diet or whatever it's called challenge and I remember reading in the book that a waist over 40 inches puts you at risk for diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. So  I went out and bought a tape measurer and I have lived by it since. Before I got pregnant I was rocking a good 34 inch waist. I had lost 6 inches thanks to Shaun T, the gym, brown rice and baked chicken. The first time I measured my waist since having the baby I measured in at 38 inches. A week later I measured and was amazed to find that I had dropped to 37 inches! I was so excited. That's only 3 inches away from my previous waist. So today I woke up and for some reason I just grabbed the tape measurer and measured. Honey child I came in at 36 inches! I had to give MYSELF two snaps

So I am two inches away from my previous waist. Now here's the bad thing. Oh you thought this entire post was going to be full of fabulousness? It's not :( The bad thing is when I look at pics of my 34 inch waist I see something totally different then when I look at myself now. I'm totally shocked by the numbers because I truly did not believe that my waist was at 36 inches. Child those haters have really done a number on me smh. My hormones are still not 100%. I'm not totally ME yet! But I cant focus on that. All I can do is keep working! 2 more inches \o/

1Luv
KL


PS: Here's a video on measuring your waist :)

Adios 2012

2012 was a crappy year! There is no way to sugar coat it. It was what it was and I'm glad its gone. One of the main reasons that it was so crappy was because I lost focus. When I started this blog in preparation of turning 30, I started it to change physically with weight loss, mentally and spiritually with a closer relationship with God. It seems that when I achieved my goals just a lilllll bit, I totally forgot about the blog and in the process my focus was lost. It seemed that everything that I loved and cherished was stripped away from me in a blink of an eye and I had no control whatsoever. My life was turned upside down professionally, romantically, financially, personally, mentally, spiritually, and so on. I was placed in a space that I was very unfamiliar with and it made my 2012 a living nightmare.  So I was more than happy to say GOODBYE to 2012.

The great thing about 2012 is that through all of the fire and ash, came a stronger person. I now know that I am capable of ANY and EVERY thing. Hell if I could survive what I went through, from being single & pregnant to being homeless to being bullied & blackballed,  I can survive anything. And that is why I am so excited about 2013. I'm taking everything that I learned from 2012 and applying it. I don't believe in resolutions so I refuse to make those. However I do believe in setting GOALS and my main goal is to get back to where I left off at when 2011 ended and 2012 began. I cant erase 2012 and even if I could I don't think I would want too. I know that God placed me in every situation for a reason even if I don't have complete knowledge of those reasons.  There is a blessing in every storm and a lesson to be learned.


My goal for this year is to LIVE! To CHANGE! To be BETTER! God aint bring me through those trials for nothing. I'm ready to GROW! So ADIOS 2012...........Lets do this 2013!!!!

A Day of Firsts

Today has been a day of firsts for me.... a day of change....and quite frankly a day of patting myself on the back. I started the day off by waking up at 7 am and heading to the gym. This was major for me because I am a mother of a newborn and I cherish every ounce of sleep that I'm able to get. My son work me up 10 minutes early because he remembered the conversation at dinner where I proclaimed that I would be returning to the gym....that kid and his memory. 


So I get up, get on my workout clothes and head to the gym. It was weird but when I got there I was very nervous. I was going to a new gym and did not know what to expect.  I sat in the car for like 2 minutes before grabbing my Ipod and walking to the gym. Half way there I realized that I left my towel at home...I threw up my hands, announced defeat and walked back to the truck. Halfway back to the truck I realized that if I went back home to get a towel, I would not return. I know me. I would probably come up with an excuse as to how I didn't have enough gas in the truck or something so instead I said eff the towel, turned around and entered the gym. We're not going to talk about how the gym was FULL at 7 something in the morning. Nor are we going to talk about how I was the only African American and the only young person in there ... nope we're not going to discuss that. We will only discuss that I did my time on the treadmill and bike, worked up a good sweat, had thighs that were on FIRE and felt great when I walked out. I felt great for the rest of the day. Talk about ENERGY! I was like this

and then some!

 
I had so much energy that after talking to my homegirl I decided that I wanted to take up running. I think the energy did something to my brain cells but once I made the decision, I went through with it which brings me to my second FIRST of the day......running! I was excited about running but realistic at the same time. I have not worked out in 9 months and I know that running is a BIG deal. Fortunately for me I had my family backing me and agreeing to run with me. So with much confidence and support I put on my workout clothes, laced my son's sneakers, packed the truck and headed to the park. My intention was to start out with a walk and increase until I was jogging but my son had other plans and I'm thankful for him. This little boy would NOT let me walk. He was like no way mom! You said you wanted to run, we're going to run! So I ran. I ran two laps which was equivalent to 1/2 mile. My chest hurt and I was breathing hard but I felt GOOD! Unfortunately Mother Nature did not agree with our little outing and it began to rain. Oh well. I think I did good for my FIRST run! I'm looking forward to doing it daily and increasing not only my pace but my mileage.

So here is to a day of FIRSTS! My first time at the gym in 2013 and my first time running. Yay!

1Luv
KL

My FIRST weigh in after the baby...plus a photo walk

So before I kick this blog post off, let me first go through the photos that will show HOW I got to this point and WHY I feel as nervous as I do. Ready? Here we go.

 

In January 2012, this is how I looked.....minus a few more pounds because this picture was taken in November.

 

This was me in March after my daughter was conceived.  Still smaller....and totally unaware that I was pregnant lol

 

 

Now because I was still considered "obese" my doctor was worried about my weight during my pregnancy. I blogged about this on my pregnancy blog. She did not want me to gain a lot of weight and therefore I really had to watch what I ate and etc. The first couple of months went great...in MY opinion. I rarely gained anything other than belly. Here I am 5 months pregnant

So I get to my final trimester and last month and turn into a beast. I cant stop eating. I mean I'm hungry ALL of the time! It was crazy. I went to the doctor's office once and learned that I had gained 9 lbs....in ONE week! I nearly cried. Here I was gaining a mere ONE pound a month and in 7 little days I gained 9 months of weight. I was devastated. My doctor insisted that everything was fine but all I kept thinking was that I was going to have to work really hard to lose it once the baby was born. By my last month of pregnancy I was looking like this.

The final day that I went into the hospital I had gained 25 pounds total, hit the 200 lb mark plus some  and was looking like this

Chilllddd I was so happy to get that baby out of me. I fought tooth and nail with my doctor for that induction. Had I not only God knows how big I would have gotten. I just could not control myself when it came to the food. So anyhoo I give birth to a 7 lb 3 oz baby and I pump (breast milk) to aid in losing my belly as fast as I can. I come home and even though I am a 1000 times smaller, I just don't feel right. I was self conscious and the people around me were not making it any better.  It seemed like every other day someone was telling me how BIG I was .... like I didn't just GIVE BIRTH....ya know HAVE A BABY! How did they expect me to look? Like Beyoncé? I think not. So while I should have been enjoying my time off and my new bundle, instead I was overly anxious about getting back in the gym and getting the weight off. I was overly anxious about exercising even though my body was telling me in several languages to sit my black behind down. So I said ALL of that to show you just how nervous I was when I walked up in that doctor's office for my 6 week checkup and official weigh in. Chile I was so nervous that my hands were shaking.  I was thinking the nurse was going to say 10054882 gazillion pounds but instead she said 190.

Lady repeat that for me and all of the audience members who are sitting in the back row and wearing hearing aids. 190!!!! Girlll I almost lost it in that doctor's office. I was biting my lip and blinking away tears. Gawd is good hunty. That's a mere 6 lbs away from the weight that I was in those first two pictures waaayyyyyyyy at the top of this post. 6 lbs? I could surely do that. I could do that with my eyes closed. I could do that with my eyes closed and standing on one leg. I GOT this! She then measured my waist and I came in at 37 inches. I gave God a hallelujah praise dance then. When I first started this blog I was well over 40 inches. I was at risk for high blood pressure, diabetes, you name it and I was at risk for it. I eventually got down to a 34 inch waist and now this lady .... this lady is telling me that after being pregnant and birthing a child that I was a mere 3 inches away from what I use to be. Let me tell you again...GOD IS GOOD hunty! That was just the boost that I needed to get on my merry way and began Operation Get Fine and Be Divine!

Now lets get to work!

I'm BACK!

Hi sweetie pies! It's been a minute. As a matter of fact it's been an entire year but I"M BACK! My last post was in January 2012 and so much happened from now to then that kept me from blogging on this particular blog. First and foremost I became pregnant and mommy to a beautiful little girl. The pregnancy went hand in hand with this blog because it affected me physically, emotionally and spiritually. I cant wait to blog about my journey and my desire to continue to be

Stay tuned :)