I remember as a little girl my father playing Vickie Winan's no cross no crown. For those who have not heard it, the song talks about being able to take a little heartache, a little pain, a little stress...basically having a cross. If you dont have a cross basically you wont have a crown. A crown being entrance into heaven. The song goes on to say must Jesus bear the a cross alone and all the world go free? No there's a a cross for everyone and theres a cross for me.
You may not know this about me ..... but I'm spoiled. Hey I admit it...no denial over here. I've heard this song a million times and for a million times I thought it did not apply to me. I'm Kimberly ... I am suppose to be happy for ever and ever merely because I want to be. Dont pick at me because some of you feel the same way. In actuality thats not how it works. Life is not perfect. At 29 I laugh at such a thought. If my life was perfect, what a boring life that would be. If life was perfect, how could I learn from my mistakes and hardships and get better. If life was perfect how could I bear my cross and get my crown.
Life is not perfect. Life is full of laughs and tears. Its full of joys and sorrows. I laid in bed for an hour this morning with tears streaming down my face. My heart was heavy and my mind was full. I hate Father's Day for it forces me to remember that I am a single mother and that my son's father is not the "type" of father that I would want for him. After I had cried all that I could cry and cursed all that I could cursed I realized that this is just another cross that I must bear. Its a cross that me and my son must bear. One day my son will be a great man, I can feel this deep down in my soul. I know that God has something special planned just for him just like he had something special planned just for me. One day we both will look back on these years not with regret but with thanks.
I was talking to my oldest sister a few weeks ago and we were reflecting on our childhood. My sister holds on to our childhood more than I do and I shared with her that everything that we went through only aided in making us the strong black women that we are today. Its true. Had I not gone through many of the hurtful things that I've gone through I probably would not be the woman who is standing before you all today. Our hurt, our flaws, our troubles, our mistakes....they all shape us into the beautiful people that we are. How can you have a testimony without first going through a test? You cant.
So while my heart aches today and tears flow down my eyes I accept this cross, I accept the pain and the heartache, I accept the tears for I know that one day I shall have my crown. I will be smiling and everything that I've endured will be a faint memory. Remember NO CROSS, NO CROWN
Happy Father's Day everyone!
You may not know this about me ..... but I'm spoiled. Hey I admit it...no denial over here. I've heard this song a million times and for a million times I thought it did not apply to me. I'm Kimberly ... I am suppose to be happy for ever and ever merely because I want to be. Dont pick at me because some of you feel the same way. In actuality thats not how it works. Life is not perfect. At 29 I laugh at such a thought. If my life was perfect, what a boring life that would be. If life was perfect, how could I learn from my mistakes and hardships and get better. If life was perfect how could I bear my cross and get my crown.
Life is not perfect. Life is full of laughs and tears. Its full of joys and sorrows. I laid in bed for an hour this morning with tears streaming down my face. My heart was heavy and my mind was full. I hate Father's Day for it forces me to remember that I am a single mother and that my son's father is not the "type" of father that I would want for him. After I had cried all that I could cry and cursed all that I could cursed I realized that this is just another cross that I must bear. Its a cross that me and my son must bear. One day my son will be a great man, I can feel this deep down in my soul. I know that God has something special planned just for him just like he had something special planned just for me. One day we both will look back on these years not with regret but with thanks.
I was talking to my oldest sister a few weeks ago and we were reflecting on our childhood. My sister holds on to our childhood more than I do and I shared with her that everything that we went through only aided in making us the strong black women that we are today. Its true. Had I not gone through many of the hurtful things that I've gone through I probably would not be the woman who is standing before you all today. Our hurt, our flaws, our troubles, our mistakes....they all shape us into the beautiful people that we are. How can you have a testimony without first going through a test? You cant.
So while my heart aches today and tears flow down my eyes I accept this cross, I accept the pain and the heartache, I accept the tears for I know that one day I shall have my crown. I will be smiling and everything that I've endured will be a faint memory. Remember NO CROSS, NO CROWN
Happy Father's Day everyone!
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