Tomorrow is Father's Day......its the time of year that makes my blood boil. I had a great father growing up and still do so one would think that Father's Day would be a day that I spent celebrating him ... wrong! All of my father's great deeds are overshadowed by the fact that my child's father sucks. Every year without fail I cannot focus on the greatness that is my father ... instead I spend every year engulfed in rage and hatred for the man that helped me to create the most important person in my life. That my friend, sucks!
I feel as if God places tests before us and it is up to us to pass them. If you dont pass them, you're constantly given that test. If you pass them you receive a special blessing from the heavenly father and move on. For example, I had the worst neighbors ever. Just thinking about my neighbors would cause my blood to boil. FYI, I have anger issues. Anyhoo I'd come home and my neighbors would be blasting their music ... my blood would instantly boil and I'd get so upset that I'd say I was near the point of having a stroke. My blood pressure would rise and I'd be on the phone calling the cops and/or landlord. This went on for a long time. I kept failing and failing. If I end up in hell when this life is over, I'm sure I'll be there because of my temper and/or anger issues One day I was sitting on the couch and they started with their music ... but this time I did something different. I counted to 10 and DID NOT GET ANGRY. Dont ask me how but after 10 minutes and me not getting angry, they turned the music down. I didnt go over there or anything ... See how GOD works! The same thing happened the next day and I got the same results. By the third day all I could do was smile. I even managed to speak to my neighbors .... who believe it or not, were not as bad as I thought they were. The point that I'm trying to make is I passed that test. I learned to control my anger in that situation and I did not allow anyone to get the best of me.
That is what I am attempting to do tomorrow. For nine years I have regretted ever meeting my son's father ... I've been angry for nine years that the type of father that I have, my son does not have. That anger, as anger often does, has eaten away at me and made me miserable. I have not enjoyed a father's day in nine years and thats unfair. Its unfair to me, its unfair to my son but most of all its unfair to my father....a great man who raised and loved me for 29 years and my son for 9. My goal for tomorrow is to honor him and not allow my anger for deadbeats to control me. Even as I type this I know that it is going to be a difficult challenge. However I'm going to take a deep breath, I'm going to count to 10 and I'm going to EXHALE and enjoy my day.
Happy Fathers Day to all of the fathers who are taking care of their business! Much love and appreciation to you all
Muah
KL
I feel as if God places tests before us and it is up to us to pass them. If you dont pass them, you're constantly given that test. If you pass them you receive a special blessing from the heavenly father and move on. For example, I had the worst neighbors ever. Just thinking about my neighbors would cause my blood to boil. FYI, I have anger issues. Anyhoo I'd come home and my neighbors would be blasting their music ... my blood would instantly boil and I'd get so upset that I'd say I was near the point of having a stroke. My blood pressure would rise and I'd be on the phone calling the cops and/or landlord. This went on for a long time. I kept failing and failing. If I end up in hell when this life is over, I'm sure I'll be there because of my temper and/or anger issues One day I was sitting on the couch and they started with their music ... but this time I did something different. I counted to 10 and DID NOT GET ANGRY. Dont ask me how but after 10 minutes and me not getting angry, they turned the music down. I didnt go over there or anything ... See how GOD works! The same thing happened the next day and I got the same results. By the third day all I could do was smile. I even managed to speak to my neighbors .... who believe it or not, were not as bad as I thought they were. The point that I'm trying to make is I passed that test. I learned to control my anger in that situation and I did not allow anyone to get the best of me.
That is what I am attempting to do tomorrow. For nine years I have regretted ever meeting my son's father ... I've been angry for nine years that the type of father that I have, my son does not have. That anger, as anger often does, has eaten away at me and made me miserable. I have not enjoyed a father's day in nine years and thats unfair. Its unfair to me, its unfair to my son but most of all its unfair to my father....a great man who raised and loved me for 29 years and my son for 9. My goal for tomorrow is to honor him and not allow my anger for deadbeats to control me. Even as I type this I know that it is going to be a difficult challenge. However I'm going to take a deep breath, I'm going to count to 10 and I'm going to EXHALE and enjoy my day.
Happy Fathers Day to all of the fathers who are taking care of their business! Much love and appreciation to you all
Muah
KL
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